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Jul. 28th, 2022 10:14 amThe most stressful thing is being behind the curve, trying to catch up to the curve, but not knowing which thing will turn out in retrospect to be the most critical thing I should have focused on. If I don't spend time on school, the work situation continues to deteriorate without hope of improvement. If I don't focus on work, everything else falls apart. Cloistering to work on work or school is terrible roommate policy. Really, each is jealous of every other thing. Professors do this "this class is demanding, but if you work hard, you can succeed ;)" thing. One coworker who left a company I was laid off from but helped set expectations, when I was hired, proudly boasted in front of his wife at a company function that "relationships don't matter... women can take care of themselves... I'm online all day talking to customers and [company] people... that's the real relationship... then I work all night". (I can't make this up... that company was mostly poly all of the way to the top (and probably networked there while building out) and not long afterward, his wife spent some quality time in the bathroom making out with someone else, and Frank absolutely did not care.)
Anyway, "A" didn't need a roommate that badly. "B" made enough money she could hire a maid. Really, A just needed another person to dote on him, being an extrovert, so I wasn't fulfilling the unwritten agreement there, and like with doing dishes for recurrent parties, or companies that want high level of communication and communication availability but also want complicated engineering work done, the real deal is simply not stated honestly nor is there incentive for them to renegotiate. Everyone wants things that they just can't polite say, so we say other things instead. Saying it would be worse. That's insulting. You cannot tell an extrovert to be quiet (that's so many other stories) and you can't post a job ad telling people they have to be on for 16 hours a day. "B" probably didn't really care that "A" was cheating on the deal as long as she didn't find out. She needed to feel like she had the emotional loyalty and commitment to a primary relationship. "A" needed "B" to drag to poly parties because like swinger parties, you apparently don't show up alone. Frank was doing what he wanted and so was his wife. I'm the one who didn't have my stuff in order. Everyone else did.
Anyway, "A" didn't need a roommate that badly. "B" made enough money she could hire a maid. Really, A just needed another person to dote on him, being an extrovert, so I wasn't fulfilling the unwritten agreement there, and like with doing dishes for recurrent parties, or companies that want high level of communication and communication availability but also want complicated engineering work done, the real deal is simply not stated honestly nor is there incentive for them to renegotiate. Everyone wants things that they just can't polite say, so we say other things instead. Saying it would be worse. That's insulting. You cannot tell an extrovert to be quiet (that's so many other stories) and you can't post a job ad telling people they have to be on for 16 hours a day. "B" probably didn't really care that "A" was cheating on the deal as long as she didn't find out. She needed to feel like she had the emotional loyalty and commitment to a primary relationship. "A" needed "B" to drag to poly parties because like swinger parties, you apparently don't show up alone. Frank was doing what he wanted and so was his wife. I'm the one who didn't have my stuff in order. Everyone else did.
